How to Make Friends as an Expat: Best Strategies and Apps
Moving abroad is supposed to be the adventure of a lifetime. And it is, right up until a Sunday afternoon when the novelty fades, your group chat back home has gone quiet because of the time difference, and you realize you haven't had a real conversation in days.
This is the expat friendship paradox: you're surrounded by more people than ever, in a place you chose, and still feel profoundly alone. Below is why it happens, plus a realistic mix of offline and online strategies for building friendships that outlast the honeymoon phase.
The expat friendship paradox
Friendship tends to grow from a handful of conditions: proximity, repeated unplanned contact, and a setting relaxed enough to drop your guard. As an expat you usually have the proximity but lose the rest. There's no shared history, the language might be a barrier, and everyone around you already has their established circle. The result is a lot of pleasant acquaintances and very few people you'd call at midnight.
Why surface-level meetups rarely stick
Expat mixers and "newcomer" events are great for a first contact, but they're built around the same small talk on repeat: where are you from, how long have you been here, what do you do. That's a doorway, not a friendship. The people who succeed treat events as a way to find candidates, then do the unglamorous work of following up and creating repeat contact.
Offline strategies that work
- Choose recurring over one-off. A weekly class, run club, or league beats a one-time party. Repetition is what turns faces into friends.
- Volunteer. Shared purpose on a regular cadence is a reliable recipe for friendship, and it roots you in the local community rather than only the expat bubble.
- Do a language exchange. You get a built-in reason to meet, mutual vulnerability, and a local perspective.
- Be the one who follows up. Everyone's waiting to be invited. Be the person who sends "coffee Thursday?" and you'll never run out of plans.
Online strategies across time zones
Online tools solve the two hardest expat problems: finding people who actually want new friends, and staying connected when schedules and time zones don't line up. The trick is choosing apps that work asynchronously, so a friendship doesn't depend on both of you being free at the same hour.
The best apps for expats
Bubblic: friendship that survives the time difference
Bubblic is built around voice messages, which quietly solves the expat's biggest headache: scheduling. You record a thought when it suits you; your friend listens and replies when it suits them. Hearing a voice keeps the relationship warm in a way text can't, and matching globally means you can build new friendships and keep old ones alive across any number of time zones.
Slowly: global penpals
Slowly
Connect with people worldwide based on interests and trade letters. Excellent for the reflective, long-distance side of expat life.
Meetup: find your recurring activity
Meetup
The best way to convert online intent into offline repetition. Search for groups that meet weekly and commit to showing up three times before you judge it.
InterNations: the established expat network
Events and groups specifically for internationals. Strong for that first wave of contacts when you've just landed.
Final thoughts
Feeling lonely abroad doesn't mean you made a mistake moving. It's the ordinary cost of leaving old roots before new ones have grown. Treat events and apps as a way to find candidates, then lean on recurring activities to turn the promising ones into real friendships. A voice-first tool like Bubblic helps you keep those relationships warm across the miles. The friendships do come; they just need repetition and a bit of patience.